I’ve spent countless days browsing showrooms, stores, and websites, daydreaming about things I desire: cars, clothes, cottages, commodities, careers.
After numerous acquisitions
and endless disappointments,
I’ve learned that we don’t actually
want these things…
We want the wanting.
You know… The hours spent configuring the car online, imagining our hands on the leather steering wheel. Choosing the perfect pants, picturing the outfit, imagining how impressed others might be.
Before you acquire the thing, it can be anything you imagine.
But as soon as you obtain the BMW sedan or the Balenciaga shoes, your desire is extinguished. Unfortunately, it was that very desire that made you feel alive. Once you have the thing, you miss having something to look forward to.
So you look for more…
A cashmere sweater in another color.
A kitchen island with cold granite beneath your palms.
A new business card embossed with a new job title.
Each accretion is a proxy for a hypothetical future in which you would finally feel satisfied. Sure, the objects change, but the underlying craving remains.
Perhaps the key, then, isn’t
to merely acquire the thing
nor to get rid of the desire
but to find satisfaction in the wanting.
It is possible to admire the sweater, to feel its softness between your fingers and imagine wearing it on a cold morning … and then put it back on the shelf.
And if you do indeed make the purchase anyway, know this…
Getting what you want is fine. Just don’t expect to get what you want after you get what you want.
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