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The Minimalists The Minimalists
Emmy-nominated Netflix stars, podcasters, and New York Times–bestselling authors Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus help millions of people live meaningfully with less. The Minimalists have been featured in TIME, GQ, ABC, CBS, NBC, BBC, NPR, and they have spoken at Harvard, Apple, Google.

Podcast 385 | Monogamy and Nonmonogamy

In this public episode of The Minimalists Podcast, we speak with Aubrey Marcus about relationship structures, commitment, marriage, open relationships, and more! Watch all 3 hours of episode 385 on The Minimalists Private Podcast.


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Discussed in This Episode

  • How is nonmonogamy related to minimalism?
  • What challenges have people experienced in nonmonogamous relationships?
  • How do people thrive in nonmonogamous relationships?
  • How do we create a healthy balance between giving and receiving love?
  • What is “compersion”?
  • What is “kitchen-table polyamory”?
  • How is suffering contagious?
  • What is “tantric technology”?
  • How do I appropriately communicate with potential partners that I’m only interested in nonmonogamous relationships?
  • What challenges would a nonmonogamous relationship present to other relationships in someone’s life?
  • What are the nonmonogamous relationship types?
  • What is “relationship anarchy”?
  • Is it always necessary to compromise in relationships?
  • How honest and transparent should we be in our dating profiles?
  • How do we tactfully set relationship boundaries?
  • What are the differences between generosity and martyrdom?
  • How crucial is compatibility in relationships?
  • What are the three stages of relationships?
  • How can deprivation help us?
  • How do we open ourselves up more for love?
  • Do definitions obscure more than they clarify?
  • How do you broach the possibility of nonmonogamy with a long-term monogamous partner?
  • What is “monogamish”?
  • Is monogamy a result of evolution or conditioning?
  • How do we respectfully discuss difficult topics with our loved ones?
  • What are your perspectives regarding “love languages”?
  • How do I explain to a co-parent that nonmonogamy is nonnegotiable for me when they’re not interested?

Minimal Maxims

Joshua, Ryan, and T.K.’s pithy, shareable, less-than-140-character responses. Find more quotes from The Minimalists at

  • Judgment is the fastest way to shut down a conversation.
  • Empathy is a bell curve with suffering on both ends.
  • Boundaries add clarity to our communications.
  • You needn’t desire the same things to be on the same page.
  • Hoarding is holding on to anything that gets in the way.
  • That which is natural is not always that which is best.
  • There is no measuring stick for love; to love someone is to see them, appreciate them, and accept them for who they are, warts and all.
  • Love does not create limits—it creates through the limits.
  • Clinging to love is like clinging to water: the harder you clinch, the faster it disappears.

Links Mentioned in This Episode

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